My Heart Underwater

August 1, 2020

Gr 9 Up-Every week, Corazon's dad video chats with Jun, Corazon's half-brother living in the Philippines, who she has never met. After an accident leaves her father comatose and Corazon is caught kissing her female teacher, her mother sends her to live with Jun. Corazon knows the language, but secrets unfold when she arrives. Embedded in a new country, she meets her extended family while getting updates about her father's condition and rewrites letters to Ms. Holden that she cannot seem to send. She needs closure. The tenuous relationship between mother and daughter breaks apart and gradually rebuilds over the course of the novel, similar to Erika L. Sanchez's I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter. It is messy and sad but hopeful. This is a hearfelt #OwnVoices story about a Filipino character who is gay. The emotional connection to a homeland, language, and family is demonstrated by the use of Tagalog in dialogue, and lush imagery of bustling cities and mountainous terrain. The book also incorporates political history effortlessly as Jun teaches Corazon about their country as they bond. VERDICT Built on character and relationships, Fantauzzo's young adult debut is not to be missed.-Alicia Abdul, Albany H.S., NY

Copyright 2020 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from September 28, 2020
In Southern California, Filipina American high school junior Corazon “Cory” Tagubio is stuck. She wants to make her Catholic immigrant parents proud (“I fight to climb back into the moment. To be the version of me that would make them happy”) and to act on her overwhelming romantic feelings for her white history teacher, Ms. Holden. All at once, her life comes crashing down: her father falls into a coma following a workplace accident, and Cory’s mother catches her and Ms. Holden crossing the line between student and teacher. Cory is promptly sent to the Philippines, where she stays with her older half-brother, Kuya Jun, whom she has only met on Skype. Feeling abandoned and alone, Cory slowly grows into herself, discovering different kinds of support through familial bonds and new friendships. This emotionally powerful YA debut sensitively portrays the tension between Cory’s American upbringing and attempts to stay true to her cultural roots. A first-person narrative peppered with largely untranslated Tagalog and Taglish adds a refreshing authenticity to Fantauzzo’s richly textured world. Ages 14–up. Agent: Andrea Morrison, Writers House.

October 1, 2020
Grades 9-12 After the dual shock of her father's coma following a work accident and her mother catching her kissing Ms. Holden, her history teacher, Corazon finds herself in Manila, capital of the Philippines. Ostensibly, she's there to visit her older half brother, Jun, but Corazon knows her mother's true intention?to give Corazon time to think about her life decisions. What it does in reality is uncover the dysfunctional family dynamics her parents have shielded her from and how her mother's choices have echoed through the years and the challenges Corazon grapples with today. Fantauzzo thoughtfully captures the subtle divide between Philippine-born Filipinos and FilAms, or Filipino Americans born and raised in America. FilAms are often divorced from Filipino language and culture, as is shown in the rocky start to Jun and Corazon's relationship. But this struggle allows them to find common bonds and a deep need for connection. This soulful #OwnVoices story explores how love for family and tradition can conflict with personal dignity, and it will especially resonate with young readers from immigrant families.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2020, American Library Association.)

March 1, 2021
After seventeen-year-old Cory's mother witnesses a kiss between her and her long-term substitute teacher, twenty-five-year-old Ms. Holden, she sends Cory to spend two months in Quezon City in the Philippines with her half-brother, a brooding engineering student and amateur musician. Cory -- also dealing with the fact that her father back in California is in a coma -- must navigate Kuya Jun's stiff presence, meet her cruel and unforgiving grandfather, and maintain balance between two worlds as a FilAm, a Filipina American. But amid the unfamiliar customs, Taglish vocabulary, and rhythm of a new city, Cory finds acceptance in the most unexpected places. As Kuya Jun says, "Love is weird. But it'll find you again. The right kind, next time. Let it be. Give it time." His comforting words turn out to apply to many complicated relationships in Cory's life, including a new romantic interest. Fantauzzo's emotional story extends beyond Cory's search for identity and belonging, adding insights about both historical and metaphorical colonization, while readers are immersed in the uncertainty that surrounds new and ongoing family crises, resentment, and forgiveness. Gabi K. Huesca

(Copyright 2021 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

Starred review from September 1, 2020
Corazon "Cory" Tagubio is a Southern Californian FilAm caught between her duty toward her hardworking immigrant parents and her sexual awakening. When her mother catches 17-year-old Cory kissing Ms. Holden, her 25-year-old White Catholic school history teacher, she sends Cory to the Philippines to live with Kuya Jun, an older half brother whom she has only met through Skype. Cory arrives in the Philippines heartbroken twice over: Her beloved father is in a coma, and, separated from Ms. Holden, Cory feels untethered and deeply alone. In her YA debut, Fantauzzo's gorgeous writing presents an emotionally wrought American-born teenager on a journey to define her present as well as understand her family's past. The unethical relationship with Ms. Holden is effectively used as a device for Cory's journey of self-inquiry and growing understanding of real love, bolstered by her cousin's and friends' more developed ethical and political consciousnesses. One of a cast of splendidly drawn characters, Cory faces hidden truths about familial separation and lasting bonds that provide a layered backdrop for her own catharsis. In tight sentences, Fantauzzo packs a punch, describing Cory's fraught emotional tightrope as she negotiates Catholic dogma of right and wrong, repression, and rage in ways that will surely resonate with anyone who simply cannot live any longer without questioning norms. Tagalog and Taglish are interlaced throughout, adding an atmospheric texture that refreshingly lends rarely depicted insights into authentic Filipino humor, conflict, and expressions of love. A (home)coming out story that rides a deep undercurrent of love. (Fiction. 14-18)

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